How Energy Psychology Can Help a Community in Crisis

Have you ever wondered if energy psychology (EP) can be helpful in a crisis? Maybe you have seen distressing news reports and wished you could help. As an EP provider, you can! EP is an effective set of tools that you can use to help a community in crisis. A recent ACEP conference presenter explained how.

During his keynote session on the final day ACEP’s 25th International Energy Psychology Conference, Dr. David Feinstein gave a riveting presentation about a range of ways EP can help individuals and even communities in crisis after an event like a natural disaster or a tragic shooting. Indeed, we learned about ways that tapping works beyond treatment in an office, the four main tiers of healing from trauma, and how we can share EP with large groups of people to provide immediate stress reduction and ongoing support.
 

David Feinstein

David Feinstein is a familiar name in the EP world, having taught thousands of people. He has shared the benefits of tapping, providing training to mental health, medical, teachers and other professionals around the world. Less well known may be his deep connections to organizations that provide trauma interventions in the most critical situations. These include work with Veterans and in places such as Kosovo, Sandy Hook, and recently Ukraine. During his talk, Feinstein emphasized the crucial nature of a quick response and coordinated effort. With these, we can make a lasting impact on the whole community.
 

Taking EP out of the office and into a community in crisis

Feinstein shared that he had consulted with Carl Johnson, who has used tapping for trauma in South Africa, Rwanda, and Kosovo. Johnson’s message is that connecting with community leaders and organizers, local doctors and direct care workers is essential to build trust. Feinstein observed that when traumatized individuals can release some of the trauma, they are more available, and often spontaneously give help to others.


Sandy Hook + Rwanda

We heard an incredible story about children who survived the shooting at Sandy Hook. These children became fearful and school avoidant. Fortunately, they connected (through people like tapping advocates Nick Ortner and Lori Leyden) with children from Rwanda who had learned tapping after their traumas. The children from Rwanda had developed peer leadership groups. Kids from Sandy Hook learned skills from the Rwandan youth. In time, they were able to return to school and start their own leadership groups, where they shared tapping with their peers.
 

Four tiers of trauma recovery

Recovery from trauma is a process that evolves over time. Feinstein outlined the four main tiers that most people experience when they have support. EP is effective during each tier:

  1. Immediate relief and stabilization, through reduction of hyperarousal in the limbic system.

  2. Neutralize limbic responses to traumatic cues.

  3. Overcome problems activated by trauma (including work issues, addictions, anxiety responses).

  4. Promote optimal functioning (where individuals regain the ability to cope with uncertainty and change).
     

Helping communities in crisis

Clinicians are adept at working with clients one-on-one. But what about large groups? How can we help a community in crisis? The challenges of reaching large numbers of people in a community can be daunting. Feinstein suggested that we can address this challenge by teaching EP skills in a group. This idea will be familiar to people familiar with EFT’s group work and borrowing benefits. A facilitator can demonstrate EFT techniques with a volunteer. Meanwhile, the whole group watches and taps along together, and everyone receives the borrowed benefits of the experience.


Feinstein concluded with an inspired message, encouraging us to imagine a world where local communities are already prepared, where therapists and practitioners are immediately available and will help share the skills of tapping when a community is in need.
 
Are you an educator, first responder or clinician wanting to bring EP to your community? You can learn skills right away through ACEP’s free Resources for Resilience web site and Emotional First Aid training. Thanks to ACEP's Humanitarian Committee for creating these wonderful resources.

 

Author

Ramona K Clifton, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and coach, with a private practice in Brooklyn, NY. She works with artists and creative people to help them heal the pain in their life and live at their full potential. Ramona uses EFT, mindfulness and a deep appreciation for individual experience and the creative drive. She is a member of ACEP and the ACEP Communications Committee. Learn more at ramonaclifton.com.



Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

How Long Does Therapy Last?!

“So, how long does therapy last?”

It’s a really good question, and it’s always helpful to talk about what to expect. But, what if you don’t like the answer… or it just isn’t clear? Time in therapy is influenced by many things, like what brings you there in the first place. A therapist needs to learn about you - and the social anxiety, occasional depression, recent argument, or old trauma that needs attention.

A therapist’s training and skill set can also affect the process. This blog doesn’t describe the various approaches, but you may have heard of CBT, or “goal oriented brief therapy” or that Psychoanalysis usually lasts longer, for example. Check out links below for further information about some of the types and the science behind the answers. Techniques, the severity of issues you’re seeking help with, and experience are all factors in the amount of time you participate. There are a few things you can keep in mind to help anticipate how long is right for you!

Maybe you already know…

There is a good chance that you have some idea, even vague, of how long you’d *like* therapy to last. If you’re seeking help around a breakup, that can be your focus, and once you’re feeling less shattered and more stable, you’ll be ready to stop. Or you might know that your stress is nearly all related to being new in the city, transitioning to a new job, or planning a major life event - and you’ll be ready to take a break from therapy when things feel like they’re in place. That is absolutely fine. Sharing this with your therapist early on really helps to structure the work together.

On the other hand, it’s possible that once initial goals are reached, you choose to re-set and continue. You’ve uncovered important stuff and are making insightful connections and deeper shifts. You’re finding greater understanding about why you feel so disconnected, and feeling comfortable enough to open up. You finally have a place to talk about sensitive things that have been “in the back of your mind" all this time. These are all great reasons to keep participating.

Some people just know that they want to create and maintain a consistent support over time. Maybe you had a great therapist before, and you’re looking for another good experience. It’s a very special thing if your therapist really knows your story, and you get to work together through multiple life changes. A consistent therapeutic relationship is a unique and valuable support.

Have You Thought About Ghosting?

Sometimes, you just want to vanish! If you’re just not connecting with your new therapist, or over time you find yourself thinking “I think I’m ready to be done”, it’s a good idea to bring it up, even if it feels hard to talk about. Communication in therapy often reflects communication in other relationships, and it can help a lot to have a “better end than usual”. An abrupt stop to therapy can take away your chance to reflect on the work you’ve accomplished, and it may leave a residue of guilt and avoidance that devalues what you’ve actually done in therapy. Even one closure session can make a big difference!

A word about boundaries - if you feel there is inappropriate or unsafe behavior by your therapist, you should end therapy immediately and consider reporting to the licensing board. Boundaries in therapy are super important, and if you feel someone has crossed the line, address it as soon as you can, or simply end the therapy. This is a subject for a different discussion - but it’s important to be aware of.

Endings are hard.

There are some parallels to ending therapy that can feel very familiar. Have you had a job that was hard to leave, even though you knew you had basically stopped learning or growing in that role? The daily routine felt a little dull, but maybe you liked the people, or the location, so you just… did nothing, for too long. Similar feelings might happen when considering a move out of a shared apartment, leaving your home town, or ending a romantic relationship. You may struggle with the idea that you’ll hurt someone’s feelings, or the fear that just when you’re “free”, something terrible might happen and you’ll long for the security and support of what you walked away from.

Many people avoid transitions and endings because it’s so hard to move out of that (slightly uncomfortable) comfort zone! They don’t have a lot of experience in helping themselves prepare and adjust to something new. If ending therapy reminds you of other times when you were reluctant to make the transition, this is an amazing opportunity to learn some skills and do it better. You can apply strategies and insights that you’ll learn from ending therapy well to other life situations in the future.

But wait, is it really the end?

When clients finish therapy, they usually have the option to return later on if they would like further support, or have a new issue to address. During the stress of the Covid pandemic, a number of former clients reached out, and shared that resuming with someone who knows them felt like a natural choice. I’ve been honored to have many people return over the years, when they felt it was the right time.

A tip at the beginning - if you have a consultation, or during your first session, ask the therapist how they like to end! Most therapists have a preferred way of concluding the work, and having a chat about it early on can help clarify what you can expect. Therapists should help plan for endings, and generally want to facilitate a useful transition. This can include identifying ongoing supports, outlining personal goals and practices for you to continue working on, and making further recommendations or referrals.

If you’ve had a good ending with someone, it’s that much easier to “pick up where you left off”. If that means ending after initial goals are achieved, and then returning even years later, you should feel free to ask if that’s an option.

How I work:

At the beginning, I try to set some expectations around how we will wrap up. I ask clients to share their thoughts and bring it up when they feel ready, and they’ll always have my help around the decision. I check in during the course of therapy to make sure we’re focused on the main goals, and create steps to develop skills and track progress. When a person feels they’re achieving what they came for, that invites the conversation around “what’s next.” Having a closure session gives us a chance to reflect and recognize how much has changed and been accomplished, and acknowledge that it’s okay to move on.

By ending well, you’ll get the most out of the whole experience. Working to figure out what is best for you means there is a range of options. Throughout therapy, your communication about wants and needs, including how you want to end, contributes to your best experience.

I welcome your thoughts! What’s been your experience of ending therapy? Do you have an example of a good ending - or a terrible one? How would it ideally happen for you? There is no one right answer, but by making the ending part of the discussion, you’ll have a better result on your investment overall.

For more information:

https://www.talkspace.com/blog/how-long-does-therapy-take-science/

https://www.helloself.com/advice/how-long-does-therapy-last

Hitting The Snooze On Yourself

Where in your life do you want to wake up?

Ah, the delicious “snooze”. Have you got your phone set so that you can hit the snooze button without even looking (and not accidentally shut off the alarm in the process)? Have you ever proclaimed yourself snooze Queen or King? I’ve known a few, and I’ve even claimed that title in the past!

Hitting the snooze is something that many of us do in the morning, to grab a few more of those precious cozy minutes, slip back into the dream, or delay the inevitable. The alarm will eventually rouse us and we forge ahead (or drag our feet) into the day. However, I’ve noticed that there are many areas of life that people “hit the snooze” on, and they never quite wake up. I bet you can recognize many common ones: delaying a job search, putting off financial planning, or simply ignoring a closet whose contents are spilling onto the floor.

We’re all guilty of snoozing

There are other ways we hit the snooze – I often hear about things that people are procrastinating on, like saving for a wonderful vacation or transforming their exercise and eating habits. Here’s a big one for people who aren’t in a relationship – they put off dating! They say they’d love to meet someone, but they just hope that someone falls into their lap, while they know that in these busy times, it actually takes some effort to meet suitable people and get to know them.

All of these things would improve their lives, so why do people hit the snooze and continue to put it off? Here’s a secret that we all know – it is easier not to take any action. It’s easier to push it off, to stick to routine, to shove hopes and goals into the future – because deep down, a voice inside might be saying “you’ll never make it, it’s too much work, why try?” If you never try, you can’t get let down, so you keep snoozing away – and that goal remains just a nice dream.

Get specific! Focus on the little things

How about you choose a special goal to wake up to? Get out of the metaphorical bedhead and put your feet on the floor! Choose ONE thing to work on, and begin by brainstorming small steps. Really break it down into manageable things that you can do in your day. Do you want to save money? 1 – stop by your bank and set up a linked account 2 – create a small recurring transfer  3 – forget about it while it accumulates! Or make an actual piggy bank, and then “deposit” the small bills left in your wallet at the end of the day.  Have fun with it! Want to meet people? Your checkoff list might include 1- email two people and invite them to a party 2 - RSVP to a meetup for something you want to learn more about, and 3 - enlist a friend to help you with an online profile. Do these things even once a week, and you’ll get more results than you are right now! You have to start somewhere, but if you focus on the little things, big movements can start to happen.

Don't go it alone

Here's another secret - you'll have more success if you don't do this alone. Real change can be a challenging process, and it makes a huge difference to have a person to plan with and help you stay on course over time. Through coaching and accountability, you can identify a neglected area of life to pay attention to, and as you move through the tasks, you begin to see wonderful and amazing outcomes.

One of my joys is helping people get things rolling. This year, clients of mine have left a toxic job for a much better one, had closure on a relationship which opened the door for a healthier and happier partner, turned their small consulting business into a launch pad for a new career, increased their self-confidence which led to public speaking engagements… and every one of them came through with a strong sense of pride (and a little shock) that they made these things happen! They accomplished them by getting clear on their goal, and then starting with small steps – it works.

Do you want to experience finding clarity in your goals, and creating your own path which will lead you there? You can join the people who did something different – they stopped hitting the snooze.

Ask yourself - where in my life do I want to wake up?

That Thing You Keep Repeating...

While I talk with clients, I listen for phrases they say frequently. If someone repeats a phrase in session, they are likely repeating it to themselves, possibly on a daily basis. Their friends might say yes, they’ve heard it, too. The person who is doing the “negative self-talk” might not realize how often it comes out of their mouth! It might be something like “I hate my job” or “I won’t succeed here” or self-deprecating statements like “I’m stupid” or ”I can’t do anything right”.

 

When you repeat something to yourself or out loud, it can become deeply ingrained in your mind. It takes on a power of its own. The words start to feel like “truth”. There may be aspects of the job that you don’t like – but do you truly hate it? If not, stop telling yourself that you do, because those words keep you feeling angry and resentful, even while you are planning to stay in that job.  If you honestly say “yes, I really hate it!”, then by all means, stop the complaints and start taking steps. Give yourself permission to get out. Your well-being is worth the effort.

If you’re repeating things like “I’m stupid” or “I’ll never make it”, that’s a big, bad message to your subconscious. You might have started saying this to be funny or to shy away from attention. If you had bad experiences with people putting you down when you were younger, you may have picked up that message - and now you’re just doing it to yourself. You didn’t deserve that to begin with, so cut it out!

The first step is to notice when the phrases crop up. What are the circumstances? Are you sick of hearing them? Would you like to replace them with something better? If so, take action! Find someone to work with you on fixing that broken record. Depending on the circumstances, coaching or therapy can help you shift your thinking.

I can help you learn new strategies and steps to take, and even physical moves and brain-based exercises which stop the anxious/negative internal routines. You can practice consciously "re-framing" the statements. You can make a point of saying things in a stronger, clearer, more confident way. When you use techniques to speak with integrity and self-respect, your brain - and those around you - will get the message.

So… what else can you say?!

 

"Life Coaching is BS"

“Life Coaching is BS”

That’s the impression I got from the comments on a friend’s Facebook post. He’d written about being contacted by a young woman who identified herself as a life coach. His statement “no life coach can be 22 years old” got a lot of responses, many funny but a few pointed, even angry.  People responded to the age issue and the subject of coaching in general. One said that a 22 year old “could be [a coach] for a 12 year old”. Animals, nature and young children were mentioned as ways to get “life coaching”. Sure, I agree with you, those are wonderful things to pay attention to and learn from! But that’s not what life coaching is.

Then someone asserted “some of the most dysfunctional people I know are life coaches” and stated “doesn’t being a coach usually mean you’ve retired?” They went on to say that a life coach must have been “injured by life… or retired from the sport”. That seemed pretty off-base (but it got a lot of “likes”.) Another bluntly said “I inherently feel that life coaches are bullshit, just another way to cash in on the insecurities of others”. (More likes and replies)

That left me sad, annoyed, and wishing I could have a conversation with them. 

I wrote “Well-trained coaches learn methods and skills which can be used by people of any age. A 22 year old could theoretically be a good coach, if they had good self-management, boundaries, patience, insight, focus etc... some kind of maturity... they don't have to have done what a client is working on. If you are a client, you wouldn't be trying to look at your coach as an example of the way to live, but talking to them about how YOU want to live. This is different from other types of coaching (like sports, where it really helps to have the personal experience).”

I added “When I got certified, there were younger people in my class who seemed quite 'good' at helping their clients (who were often older). That said, I think my experience (in life, and as a therapist) does make me a stronger coach overall... And yes, there are hacks of all ages out there who call themselves coaches, but it’s pretty easy to figure out if you’re getting something out of the work – if you’re not, move on!”

How did they respond to my reasoned thinking and personal experience as a coach? I got exactly one “like” - from my friend who originally posted the statement!

 I was frustrated by the assumptions, and realized many people think that:

Life coaches tell you how to live your life.

Life coaches have to be an expert in your way of life.

Life coaches will tell you anything to get you to spend money, and don’t care about the value to you.

These three assumptions have nothing to do with coaching as I know it, from my own training and experience. I realize that the term “life coaching” itself sets up some of these beliefs, but the there is a lot more to it than the label implies. If I thought these things were true, I might also have a knee-jerk reaction to the idea of life coaching!

Here’s my approach:

I will not tell you how to live your life. I believe that you know what you want… but you may not be putting enough energy and time into realizing and following through on it.  We will identify what you want to change, what you want to keep, and where you want to get to. The answers come from you, not me!

I will not pretend to be an expert on what you do or how you live. I don’t have to have experienced everything you want to do in order to support you in doing it! If I don’t know much about the subject, I will ask you to explain what’s useful to know about the business/ relationship/project you are working on, so that I understand what’s going into your decisions.

I will only work with you in a voluntary, productive, beneficial and agreed-upon partnership. In our conversations, we will identify specific steps towards your goal. I help hold you accountable for the actions. When we talk about insecurities, it’s because the value of overcoming fears in order to make a leap is enormous.

Coaching is to help YOU envision, and then take action towards your own best life – not to imitate mine or anyone else’s!   

Can People Have Two Therapists?

June 25, 2014

“Can people have two therapists?”

This question was put to me by a client during the final minutes of a session.  I thought about it for a few seconds and said “I think that deserves a conversation, can we talk about it next time?” I told her that the short answer is that it’s not usually advised, but I didn’t want to just say that without thinking it through.  I wanted to know what she’s looking for. We agreed to pick up on it next session.

After that, it weighed on my mind. I know from ethics workshops and discussions with colleagues that most therapists would advise against it. I know for myself that I would only be comfortable in very specific circumstances. Perhaps if our modalities were clearly defined and very different, such as if she wanted to see a Reiki practioner, an EMDR specialist or a health counselor for nutrition. But to have two “talk therapists”, I doubt that would be the best way a person is served – but why not?

Turns out it’s pretty easy to find resources and articles that say no, it’s not recommended. The reasons given (often by therapists) include splitting, conflicting treatment plans, creating secrets (especially if they aren’t aware of each other or aren’t in communication). One blog called Jung at Heart has some good points, and interesting responses in the comments section.

http://www.jung-at-heart.com/jung_at_heart/two-therapists----a-matter.html

I saw a comment on another site by a client who wants to have two, saying if a therapist insists on being 'the only one', “It seems to me this keeps the whole therapy-as-mystery and power imbalance going". That doesn't sound like a good experience of therapy, but it's not a good therapist's agenda.

I found other people who advocate having two therapists as a way to get more perspectives and advice, to have more to choose from. This might be true, but could get confusing, as it could dilute each therapist’s ability to create a plan, goals and accountability with that client.

As I try to be open to the idea and imagine scenarios and possibilities, I do keep returning to the place of “probably not the best idea”. Though I'm skeptical, I wanted to honor her question with a discussion, and explore the needs that are behind it.

I considered why she asked… the thought crossed my mind “I’m not doing enough, I’m not providing enough or giving her what she wants”. The implication from someone who asks about two could be that they’re looking for more from their sessions.  But it doesn’t mean I was doing a terrible job, and I don’t think she meant to indicate that. Her tone seemed to have more to do with feeling impatient for change – not just in therapy, but in her life. (She is a very talented young woman who is involved in several fields at once, and had some success in each area, but wasn't fulfilled. She'd like to be a superstar.) Perhaps her desire to have multiple therapists mirrored that sense of needing it all to happen at once.

I think the concerns about “splitting” are valid – it could to set up a “you said/they said” dynamic -- if one therapist’s suggestion or plan is somehow at odds with the other therapist’s recommendation, it would set them up against each other – a classic splitting of parents, being recreated. Even if therapists had permission to speak to each other to try coordinating care, it's probably not realistic to have them in contact on a regular basis. Would the client share what issues they were speaking about in other sessions? If not, what would be missed?

It doesn't sound realistic to “focus on separate issues with each one”, as a comment on an article suggested  - in my experience, people are not that compartmentalized. Issues such as happiness in the relationship, fulfillment at work, time management and self esteem or family history are often intertwined.

When goal setting and homework is planned, would the client be able to manage the extra "assignments"?

One therapist posted in a comments section on this topic that “Even if you have six therapists you still won't get every possible perspective, you'll inevitably be missing out on insights that someone else could offer you”, which I think is true. If someone has a desire to get other viewpoints, this quest can actually get in the way of making clear choices. People can get caught up in "information-gathering" and actually delay their choices that way.

So, I raised the subject at the beginning of the next session, and thanked her for asking a compelling question. She responded that she'd realized it's not the way she wants to do things. We used it as an opportunity to talk about our process and what she wanted to get out of our time together. Having two therapists was no longer on her agenda, but it helped bring new considerations in our session, and was also a thought-provoking idea for my practice.

I welcome responses and ideas - would it ever be useful to have two (or more!) therapists?